“I feel disgusted looks for the color of my skin” – Corriere.it

“I feel disgusted looks for the color of my skin” – Corriere.it
“I feel disgusted looks for the color of my skin” – Corriere.it

A heartbreaking, lucid, powerful letter (here the letter). So powerful you can see him, Seid, as he writes “wherever I go, wherever I am, I feel the weight of people’s skeptical, prejudiced, disgusted and frightened looks on my shoulders like a boulder.” Seid Visin he was 20 years old. He was born in Ethiopia and was adopted in Italy as a child, a Nocera Inferiore, where the other day he took his own life and where he returned after a couple of seasons spent in Milan playing in Milan youth teams with Donnarumma. He had also worn the shirt of Benevento but in the end he had chosen to study. End of professional football. He had recently committed himself toAtletico Vitalica, a five-a-side football team.

The family

Sport, study, family. But Seid also wanted more, and that is live in a world without racism. The look of contempt, the woman who holds her purse if you get on the bus, the saleswoman who follows you convinced that you will steal … every little gesture is the blade of a knife that torments you. And Seid felt that blade more and more every day. Some time ago, in January 2019, he had written on the subject a letter sent to some friends and to his psychotherapist. Dramatic words – also read at his funeral – that they are also his testament. Here are some excerpts (here the full version). “I am not an immigrant,” he wrote. «I was adopted as a child (…). I remember everyone loved me. Wherever I was, wherever I went, everyone turned to me with joy, respect and curiosity. Now it seems that everything has turned upside down ». (…) “I was able to find a job that I had to leave because too many people, especially the elderly, refused to be served by me and, as if I did not already feel uncomfortable, they also pointed to me as responsible because many young Italians (whites) could not find work ». And again: “Something has changed inside me,” wrote Seid. “As if I’m ashamed of being black, as if I was afraid of being mistaken for an immigrant, as if I had to prove to people who didn’t know me, that I was like them, that I was Italian, white.

The confession

Then a sort of confession: «I made jokes in bad taste about blacks and immigrants (…) as if to emphasize that I was not one of them. But it was fear. Fear of hate that I saw in the eyes of the people towards immigrants ». The ending makes it clear that “I don’t want to beg for pity or pain, but just to remind myself that the discomfort and suffering that I am experiencing I am a drop of water compared to the ocean of suffering experienced by those who prefer to die rather than lead a life in misery and hell. Those people who risk their lives, and many have already lost it, just to smell, to taste the flavor of what we simply call “Life” ».

June 5, 2021 (change June 5, 2021 | 17:44)

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