Chat, photos and videos. A few hours after the alleged sexual abuse against the 18-year-old Italian-Swedish, between Ciro Grillo and friends there is a dense exchange of messages on WhatsApp to comment on what has just happened. The most active of the group is Edoardo Capitta, one of the 4 Genoese investigated by the Public Prosecutor’s Office of Tempio Pausania. “No, you can’t understand … 3 vs 1“, he wrote to a friend at 2.15 pm on that July 17. Then he continues:”Poor thing“he says referring to the victim. But that’s not all.
In the conversations the following day the boys reveal that they have filmed “the good night” in Cala di Volpe, in the residence of Grillo Jr. “I have 4 easy videos, there was also the cameraman. She was a tr ... “, they show off the” feat “achieved the previous morning.” There is a strongly sexist language that is still very ingrained. When you want to insult a woman, you always use terms that refer to the sexual sphere “, the pedagogist Antonella Gorrino explains to our editorial staff.
Dr. Gorrino, what food for thought does this case offer from a pedagogical point of view?
“The case is emblematic of many others that can be found in everyday life. The dynamics of this story – the role of parents in the education of their children and the lack of empathy in young people – are more widespread than is believed. I can say this from my professional experience as an educator and trainer “.
Let’s start with the first observation: the role of parents. How do you interpret Grillo’s intervention in the affair?
“Grillo’s intervention is the typical expression of Italian family culture, characterized by fusional, if not symbiotic characters: ‘Imprison me, in his place’, he says in the ‘famous video’. In general, a parent who defends his child is already an educational failure, beyond guilt or innocence, because it does not recognize the child the status of autonomous and independent person, responsible for his own actions. If a father does not recognize this responsibility, it is very difficult for the boy to do it “.
You spoke of the “lack of empathy in young people”. Can you explain what it means?
“A boy who has not developed empathy, or the ability to put himself in the other person’s shoes, will find it difficult to ‘stay inside’ a relationship. Empathy is the necessary condition for building morality and, consequently, for learning to have a ‘moral attitude’ towards another person “.
Does it also apply to the protagonists of this story?
“I will not go into the specific merits of the story, but the total absence of empathy towards the girl involved in the events is quite evident. These young people lived the circumstance almost as a ‘game’ without trying, not even for a moment, to put themselves in the shoes of the other “.
“There was the cameraman”. And then, again: “We were 3 vs 1”, says one of the guys in the following hours …
“These chats confirm what I have just explained. They lived the experience as if they were on the set of a movie or in some sort of video game. Indeed the expression ‘3 Vs 1’ is typical of those ‘shooter video games’ and, in this context, it would seem to underline a situation of contention. They had no perception of what was happening, as if they had mixed real and virtual “.
So they weren’t aware of what they were doing?
“Probably not. But that doesn’t work in their favor. A person, especially an adult, must be responsible for their actions.”
In the version provided by the 4 boys, it would have been a “consenting relationship”. What do you think?
“Obviously it is not up to me to say how things went. A conscious sexuality requires a path that also involves the sphere of affectivity. An experience as intense as that of a relationship with several people, cannot yet be, given the age of the girl, a “consenting” choice. I believe that there is a need for sexual education for young people and that, the lack of this, is replaced by a massive use of pornography, which also indirectly involves women “.
The video of the alleged abuse was immediately shared in chats with friends. Why?
“It is a characteristic of contemporary society. We live everything in the immanent, in the immediacy and in the sharing of experiences, sharing on chats or social networks. We have become voracious consumers, forgetting that we are people at first. The point is that, in this specific case , the nakedness of a body was shared naturally, almost as if it were an object. This is always linked to the absence of empathy which, especially in recent generations, is conditioned by the massive – but above all inadequate – use of social media. young people do not realize that the virtual is real, to the point of having no understanding of the suffering of others “.
In the chats Grillo and his friends use contemptuous words towards the girl. What does this “linguistic abuse” show?
“This shows that certain achievements in the field of equality have not yet been fully achieved. There is a strongly sexist language that is still very ingrained. When you want to insult a woman, you always use terms that refer to the sexual sphere. Many young people are still linked to the macho culture, more than it might seem “.
Does it also apply when it comes to rape?
“Rape is not the expression of the male hormonal charge of boys, which prevents them from holding back, as they have led us to believe over the centuries, but it is essentially a cultural fact that has its roots in family education”.
So, ultimately, the problem is education?
“Yes. It seems trivial but the problem is precisely education, both that received in the family and at school. It is necessary to educate in particular to develop those relational skills necessary to face conflicts without becoming
violent. This ability is acquired as a child, at school and in the family “.